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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25227763">Put Me in the Zoo ~or~ That’s Not Ice Cream</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dart/pseuds/Dart'>Dart</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>QB-E1 2020 Fest [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Multi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:27:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,284</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25227763</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dart/pseuds/Dart</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>James and Alec plan a nice surprise for Q. But then…Alec…happens. Surprise!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Bond/Q/Alec Trevelyan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>QB-E1 2020 Fest [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1822318</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Put Me in the Zoo ~or~ That’s Not Ice Cream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>SouffleGirl91 gave me a perfectly innocent prompt: “If you are up to it: Q and Bond (and Alec if he wants to be invited!) enjoy a day out at the zoo.”</p><p>But then Alec happened. So, mind the smut.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Quit hovering over me like a great hulking mother hen who is hogging the breeze or I will gut you with this crazy straw,” Q snapped. </p><p>James Bond eyed the red curly sparkly straw. He was 98% certain it wasn’t Q-Branch tech. “You always get cross when you get too much sun. I’m making shade.” </p><p>Q batted at the map James was failing to adequately fan him with. “Where’s Alec?! He’s up to mischief!”</p><p>“Right here, you little shite.”</p><p></p><div>
  <p>“And you!” Q said without even pausing in his eye rubbing. “What is with you  trying to outroar the lions every single time we come to this zoo?!”</p>
  <p>James took the bottle of water wedged in Alec’s elbow. His hands were reserved for icy treasures. James removed the lid and shook out a handkerchief. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Here. Stop rubbing your eyes. I’ll rinse them.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Q looked up scowling, but he pulled his hands away. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>James tipped Q’s head up and drizzled enough water to rinse around his eyes, handkerchief ready to catch the excess. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Q sighed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>James touched the icy bottle to Q’s pink cheek. “Now drink less than half. You know how ice cream makes you thirsty.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Q opened his eyes to see Alec Trevelyan holding out two handfuls of ice creams and ice lollies. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There are only three of us. And only one of those is my favorite,” Q grumped.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Just covering my bases, you bossy little shite.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You just like watching James suck on ice lollies.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Alec grinned. Then he booped Q on the nose with a cone.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Q squawked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t forget getting all sticky,” Alec said leaning over him with intent. “That’s the best part.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You are not licking that off, you hyena!” Q hissed. Then he turned his face up to James with a pout. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>James smirked and leaned in. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t you lick it off either! Use your £40 pound bespoke handkerchief!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>James cleaned Q’s face and then leaned over and nipped his ear. “Now eat your ice cream before it melts.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Q ate his ice cream.</p>
  <hr/>
  <p>Once Q finished his ice creams and the rest of his water, and his agents had finished their obscene ice lolly performance, Q said, “I’m sorry I turned into such a crab.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Alec laughed. “No, you’re not.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Q grumped. “You know how I get.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes, we do,” James said, “but how else were you going to see the babies?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Q’s face melted into a soft smile at the thought of the tiger cubs. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You told us we couldn’t break in to give you a personal tour.” Alec poked him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Q rolled his eyes. “Thank you both. For bringing me here <em>without</em> creating a <em>National Incident.”</em></p>
  <hr/>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can’t believe he’s letting you carry him on your back,” Alec said. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You could try not invoking his wrath every five minutes,” James said with a completely straight face that lasted all of thirty five seconds before he and Alec burst into laughter.</p>
  <p>They kept walking toward the car. Alec smirked. James might be the one giving Q a piggyback ride, but James was such a whiney bitch about his precious cars, Alec would be the one holding their Boffin in the backseat once he started to cool off and make those irresistible noises.</p>
  <p>And besides, post-crabby Q turned into an absolute puddle of goo, especially after two ice creams, and hopefully a bath. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Alec nestled Q into his side and turned his lips to Q’s ear. He let his voice go low in the way that never failed to make their Boffin shiver. “James and I are going to so thoroughly fuck you into the mattress tonight, you’re going to be melted to it. A sticky Q puddle. And you’ll be too fucked out to even register me licking you clean.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Ah. Now those were lovely noises. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>James met Alec’s eyes in the rear view mirror. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So good of you to chauffeur, James.”</p>
  <hr/>
  <p>They hadn’t even completely undressed him yet. Too busy kissing and nipping and licking. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>James stopped, wondering what Q was muttering about. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Cease higher math functions? Check.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Alec rolled his eyes, then stripped the last few bits of loitering clothing off with his teeth.</p>
  <hr/>
  <p>They fell in love with the quick wit and biting words and bossy little bastard. But when he’s like this, it’s all low moans and soft praises.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They don’t get this often. And Alec would tell you this is for James, but Alec needs their boy like this too. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Such warm free pleasure and delight at a thorough fucking and James isn't even pulling out any of his tricks. Just endless skin contact. Relentless sensation. Pleasure.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>(And their stroppy little sleep-deprived shite needs to fuck off from conscious thought for a while. At the very least the minimum 36 hours until he’s allowed to set foot back in 6. Even longer if Alec has anything to say about it.)</p>
</div><div>
  <hr/>
</div><div>
  <p>James, the <em>besotted fucker,</em> was lazily thrusting into Q. Q was making little moans around Alec’s cock. Alec was petting Q’s hair. This was perfect. Really. Except, Alec was always happiest when he was blowing shite up, playing with fire. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Alec’s fingers gripped Q’s curls and pulled. “Such a good sweet kitten. I got you a present.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>James’ blue eyes immediately snapped to his. Q’s unfocused eyes were slow to lift. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Alec caressed Q’s stretched lips. “A little dress up surprise to commemorate our little Kitten’s big day.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Q moaned, taking him deeper. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>James picked up the pace even before Alec got the set of furry black ears fixed in place. But it faltered when Alec tossed him the second part.</p>
  <p>“For after.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fuck. <em>Alec.”</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Q whined at the let up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>James pulled him off Alec and flipped him to his back.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>A moment of confusion, a whine. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And then James was fucking the breath out of him. Relentlessly. Q couldn’t even get a full moan out, let alone a coherent plea. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Alec sulked. “Geez James, I was waiting to come down Kitten’s throat.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>James growled at him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fine. Fine,” Alec raised his hands in surrender. “I’ll be ready.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You knew exactly where you were coming when you bought this.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Alec said, “Yeah, yeah I did. Figured I’d get you all riled up.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Q practically yowled when he realized James wasn’t letting him come. Not yet. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>James smacked Q’s arse. “You’ll wait for Alec.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Both so bossy. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Then James was pulling out and Alec was pushing in. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh <em>Kitten</em>. James left you all nice and filthy for me.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>These were definitely the best noises.<br/></em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Then James was commanding Q to come. Right before the sneaky bastard was biting Alec in that one spot to push him over.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Fucking micromanagers.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hold his legs,” James said. Then, “For fuck’s sake, Alec. Get your fingers out of there.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Q was all half-hearted squirms and little whimpers.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hush. Such a good sensitive little kitten,” Alec said. "Fucked you into next week. This'll help keep you there."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s it,” James coaxed, “Take your present.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Q barely managed a breathy “Too much.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Alex snorted. <em>Kitten had no idea. </em>But then he gentled him. “Hush. Let James fix your pretty tail.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>A questioning whimper. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>James was working in the custom plug. “Kitten has a <em>special</em> tail to go with his pretty ears.”</p>
  <p>The sweetest little sob.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So good for me.” Alec smeared his fingers along Q’s cheeks and jaw, the tip of his nose.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fucking Christ, Alec. You’re cleaning that off.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s the general idea.”</p>
</div><div>
  <hr/>
  <p>Q resurfaced to find a fluffy cat tail plug in his arse and Alec Trevelyan licking along his sticky cheek and jaw, the tip of his nose.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Then in his ear, that low voice, rough with pleasure. “Told you this was the best part.”  </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yeah so, this is the first smut I’ve posted. So, eep?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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